"Emma called, good news"

Maybe my favorite note from my husband ever . . . so I called Emma back, that's my agent, and the good news is, BYRD will be published by Dzanc Books in spring 2014!  Let the celebrating begin, and go on and on and on . . . .



painting by Anna Podris

 



Blue Nights



Providence, May 2011

"During the blue nights you think the end of day will never come. As the blue nights draw to a close (and they will, and they do) you experience an actual chill, an apprehension of illness, at the moment you first notice: the blue light is going, the days are already shortening, the summer is gone."

The last book I read in 2011, a Christmas gift from my husband, was Joan Didion’s Blue Nights, a brief, quiet memoir that turned me inside out. Didion's daughter is gone now, and her husband, and her own health is fragile. She lives alone, her home no longer a nest but a closet full of mementoes, reminders of things she does not want to remember.

Reading the book, I thought of all the people I have lost, and how the words we summon to honor a person at death, no matter how honest or eloquent or incisive, no matter how Didionesque, are never adequate, never exactly right.  Some things cannot be contained in words.  Art, like life, like death, is never perfect. But, as evidenced by Blue Nights, the very act of reaching for words, putting words to paper, may be honor enough.



Inspire.

"Our job is not to suffer more so that others can suffer less.  Our job is to express our divinity to its fullest.  The world needs inspiration more than it needs another suffering servant." 

-- Neusom Holmes, October 16, 2011

Aunt Helen, who inspired me.

Dispatches from the Millay Colony

"Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer."
– Louise Glück

Edna's house at Steepletop

Edna St. Vincent Millay, the wildly famous American poet, cultural icon and sexual pioneer, died in 1950 — not from a heart attack as was reported at the time, and maybe not even by accident, though this is never talked about: she pitched backwards down a flight of stairs after first carefully setting her glass of white wine on a ledge.

Edna’s will left her estate, Steepletop, to her older sister, Norma Millay Ellis, who moved into the house and lived there until her own death in 1986. For thirty-six years, Norma treated the house as a museum, carefully preserving all of her sister’s things — every book, paper, picture, article of clothing, even Edna’s toiletries — exactly as Edna had left them. Norma allowed nothing to be disturbed. She became, literally, her sister’s keeper.


"What lips these lips have kissed" -- 
Edna's bed, shared sometimes with her husband,
sometimes with a lover; her bedjacket and bell.

Edna

In her later years Norma established the nonprofit organization that continues to preserve the house. Norma also established the Millay Colony for the Arts.

Throughout Norma's years at Steepletop, the only part of the estate she claimed for her own was a small outbuilding, to which she added a screened porch.

Norma's cabin

We are told, the artists and writers and composers who come to the colony to work, that Edna was a generous woman. Of that I have no doubt. But it is Norma I want to thank.

Dispatches from the Millay Colony

"Poems are perfect.

Picketing sometimes is better."

Edna St. Vincent Millay, 1927

Dispatches from the Millay Colony

Would a mountain have meaning, would goldenrod,
if there were no one to write about it?

Dispatches from the Millay Colony

Edna in Autumn

Those brazen nights before the Fish

rose numbly from the sea,

before the fires of summer died—

remember them to me.

I wanted to believe that love

could ripen without rotting,

and candle-yellow evenings

would not burn down to nothing.

Tonight I sit in supper-robe

before an empty plate;

I’ve eaten but I am not full.

The room is dark. I wait.

photographs: gate, Edna's writing cabin at Steepletop